Need
by peetaslongbuns
Summary: "His blue eyes meet my gray. His lips stretch across face and the corner of his eyes wrinkle 'Morning sweetheart.' Ughh. his smile kills me. Its really disgusting that he can smile at me with everything I've been through." A love story between Katniss and Peeta and how it grew.
1. Chapter 1

Chapter 1

I struggle shoving the key through the hole balancing the groceries on my now turning bright red fingers. I finally get the key into the lock twisting it open. I see Peeta. His eyes bright red, and his cheeks soaked in tears on the couch. I place the heavy groceries by the door and make my way towards him. "Peet.. Whats the matter babe?" I sit next to him and watch as a movies credits rolls across the screen. "Ma-" he chokes as he tries to suppress a sob. "Marley died." I pull him close to me and he pulls me under him so I lay down and he can lay on top of me. His head resting against my thumping heart. I wrap my arms around him as he's squeezing me to him tight.  
I bite on my lip to stop the smile forming across my lips. This is why I love him so much. Such a big strong intimidating man, is such a big softy at heart. I run my fingers through his long stringy curls to comfort him. He's lost a lot of people he's loved and movies like that bring back terrible emotions for him. His nightmares about seeing his purple lipped blue faced brother, who was strangled by his mother haunts him almost every night. "I love you." I say. The same goes for me if it weren't for Peeta, I would have fallen into a depression.  
Mom, Dad, Prim, and I, we were all in the car that day. It happened so fast. One minute I'm talking to Prim about her crush on a boy at school, and the next my head snaps so hard against the window. I woke up with my head pounding against my skull, I'm seeing two.  
Prims body had torn through the seat belt and her bloody body across my lap soaking my jeans. Moms body is half through the window and on top of the hood. Dads head hit so hard against the steering wheel his head looked as if the steering wheel and his head were one. My throat is so sore and I've finally realized I have been screaming. I unclip my seat belt and open my door. Carrying prim out in my arms. I lay her down on the wet rainy asphalt and I lay down next to her. Stroking her now stained red hair. A strained moan escapes her bloody lips. "I love you, Prim." Her eyes shoot open and she struggles to take in her last breath, and then shes gone. I close my eyes hoping to die with her, but when I wake up a male nurse was checking my IV. Making sure the tube is flowing correctly. I look him up and down and see Mellark on his ID. His blue eyes meet my gray ones. His lips stretch across his face and the corner of his eyes wrinkle "Morning, sweet heart." Ughh. His smile kills me. Its really disgusting that he can smile at me with everything I've been through. Its really rude to be this happy around me when I feel like someone has stopped my heart and hit me with a truck. I start weeping now. My Dad. My Mom. My Sister. All dead. Why am I alive? Why couldn't I have died with the rest of my family? He stops checking the IV and turns to me. He grabs tissues on the table next to the hospital bed and wipes the tears from my trembling face. "I know how you feel. I've-" I cut him off because it total and complete bullshit what he had just said. How would he know how I feel? I'm sure he has a perfect life. The perfect job while my family suffered. "Please just stop," I tell him. He backs away from me, taking the wet tissue away from my face. "I'm sorry-"  
"Please, Can I have a moment to myself?" I try to say in a strong voice but it comes out more like a squeak. "Of course." His blue eyes grow weary as he takes one last good look at me before he leaves.  
Sitting in this quiet room makes everything worse. I can hear my self think. I think of Prims dead lifeless body. Blood was everywhere, oozing from the gashes in her skin. Glass shoved in the left side of her body. My beautiful little sister dead. In a second. I can't even begin to say what I feel. I hurt all over. I feel so frustrated about not being able to do anything for her. The truck had hit her side so fast I didn't even have enough time to shield her from any of it. Its all my fault she usually sits on the right side of the car. That's was her spot. Instead I sat in that spot and because of that she's dead. It should have been me.  
The next day they still haven't released me. They want to make sure every part of my body is working right. Every time Nurse Mellark comes in he avoids talking to me he only says things like: "Everything looks good," or "I'm going to go get you another IV bag." I shouldn't have been so quick to interrupt him. But I was angry, how would he know how I feel?  
The next day when I woke up the room filled with the sweet aroma of flowers. It was the white roses surrounded with bright yellow dandelions, sitting on the table of my hospital bed. I reach over for the note planted in the flowers and all it says is: "I'm sorry."  
I know none of my friends would send this because I only have one friend. Gale. And he would fly out here to tell me he feels sorry for me, but he is working in the mines and probably hasn't heard about what's happened. Its probably better that way because he would just remind me of my family. After all he is all I have left.  
I wake up the next morning to the smell of something so good. Freshly baked bread. My eyes snap open. Food! Nurse Mellark is placing small rolls of bread on the table. "What's that?" I say and he jumps back, and I laugh. I actually laugh. It feels so good to feel that feeling again. His face goes into shock when he hears my laugh. His lips split into a smile. "You have a great laugh."  
His intensely blue eyes search mine and I can't seem to tear my eyes from his. "How are you feeling?" He steps closer, still not breaking the eye contact. "Was it you who gave me those flowers?" He finally tears his eyes from mine. "Yes." He huffs. "Why?"  
"I.. God! I know exactly how you feel. When I first saw you laying on that stretcher when you first came in covered in blood, lips purple. I.. I literally thought I was going to die if you died, and when you had pulled through I had never felt so happy you were alive. You were asleep for a few hours and when I was checking your IV and saw your gray eyes. My stomach fluttered with butterflies. I couldn't believe how beautiful you are even covered in bruises. When I tried to tell you I know how you feel, I shouldn't of, I remember when people tried to relate to me and they had no fucking idea what I went through. That's why I got you flowers. I know it was cheesy but I don't know.. Something about seeing the hurt in your eyes made my heart ache like never before."  
"And so you bought me bread?" The words just came out, and they came out harsher then expected. But what did he expect, he'd just come in here and tell me he loves me? He doesn't even know me.  
"I.. I um actually baked it for you." He murmurs.  
Oh god even worse! This guy is falling hard.  
"Katniss, Please just give me a chance to be your friend."  
"You don't even know me."  
"I want to know -"  
The hospital door bust open and brown haired, gray eyed man stares back at me. "Katniss! Oh god!" Peeta backs away, taking his hand from mine. The realization that he was holding it made my heart speed up.  
Gale gets down on his knee's next to the bed and rest his forehead against my arm. "I got the first flight out here as soon as I heard."  
Peeta slips out the door.  
"Oh Catnip, I'm so sorry." His voice breaks, and his tears fall down my arm. When his broken face looks up at mine. I realized how really broken I feel and the tears come again. But they come more hysteric. I move over so Gale can climb in and it hurts so much to move, but I do it. He lays down next to me and I cuddle up into his chest and weep. He kisses my forehead as I cry myself to sleep.  
I wake up wrapped around sleeping Gale. My leg shoved between his and my head resting on his out stretched arm. I lay my hand on his face and stare at him. He jolts awake. "Jesus Catnip, your hand is freezing."  
"Its the morphine. It makes me feel cold, and tired." I add in while yawning. "I have to leave today," Gale says placing his warm hand over mine. "They said I could have the day off but need to be back today." I frown at him. His warmth and comfort makes me feel whole again. "I'll be back in 3 days when they release you, and I'm going to take off for awhile to take care of you." Anger boils within me. "No. You can't do that! That's just stupid, you have a family to think about."  
I didn't have one anymore is what pops into my head.

"Katniss you're my family too." He raises his voice a little.  
"And I can take care of myself."  
"I know you can-" he says getting up from the bed and grabbing his bag. "But no promises that I won't be back to help." He kisses my forehead "I have to go, I love you."  
I nod my head at him and he's gone.

Later when the doctors say that I can take a shower, I want to jump up and run straight into it. But they warned me that I can't really put too much pressure on myself after being in bed for so long. One of the nurses helps me to the bathroom and sat me down on the closed toilet lid. "Just get undressed and a nurse will be in to help you. You may keep the towel on while the nurse assists you. "She places a towel on the sink for me. I strip down to nothing and wrap a white towel around me. Within seconds _he's_ standing in the bathroom. Is this even allowed? "If this makes you feel uncomfortable all you have to do is tell me and I will go get another nurse," He says shyly. Yes go get someone else, I think.  
"No its fine," I tell him instead.  
Its not like I would mind if Nurse Mellark saw me naked;he is so attractive it hurts. But this is seriously not the time. "I'm going to wash your hair, but you have to wash your body... unless you need assistance?" He tells me, shyly not meeting my eyes.  
"I think I can do that." He stands me up and I can already feel my legs begin to shake. He starts the water and places his hand on the curve of my waist. Pulling me against him to support me on my weak legs. When the water warmed up he helped me take the step into the shower. The warmth of the water wrapped around me. The relief flooded my muscles. Standing outside the stream of water, he reaches across and pumps shampoo into his hand. Massaging the soap into my scalp, I bit my lip to keep myself from moaning out loud. Oh god, it felt like heaven. His fingers worked though my wet hair and I couldn't stop the small groan. "How do you feel today?" he asked me while his fingers worked the soap. It took my a second to get my thoughts together. "I'm okay," is all I managed. "Okay you can rise the soap out now." He removes his fingers from my hair and I turn to tilt my head back under the running water. The suds fall wash out of my hair as he pumps the conditioner into his hands. Once all of the soap is out he repeats the process with the conditioner. He rinses his hands off and I soak my hair clean. My legs feel so stiff.  
"I'll be right out the door if you need me." He says. His eyes not meeting mine, he closes the door behind him. I begin to scrub myself when my legs give out and I crumble. This is so embarrassing. I try to push myself back up but my arms are so weak. Oh no... Of course. My arms are so weak that I can't wrap the towel back around my bare body. "Katniss?" Peeta calls as he comes through the door. He must of heard my body smack with the tiled floor. "What happened?" He asks wrapping the wet towel around my body and picking me up to carry me in his arms. "My legs gave out," I explain. I can feel the heat in my cheeks.  
He sits me on the chair and runs back into the bathroom. I hear the shower turn off and he comes back holding a dry towel. He stands me up and peels off the wet towel, and for a brief moment I'm naked in front of him. He wraps the dry towel around me, lifts me up, and places me on the hospital bed. His eyes look over me and his eyebrows furrow, almost like he's in pain. I shivered from his gaze and he pulled the sheets over me, despite the heat that flooded my veins. "This is so embarrassing," I mumbled looking past his shoulder at the ceiling. "Don't be embarrassed," peeta told me, turning my chin to meet his eyes."You're injured and in pain, not only physically but mentally too." I try to not let the water filling my eyes fall but a traitor tear escapes down my chin.  
His hand cupped the side of my face and wiped it away with his thumb. "Its okay to cry," he whispers, his eyes break away and glance down at my lips. Subconsciously my lips part as he leans in, his ocean blue eyes fluttering close. I feel his breath on my chin and his nose graze mine as our lips gently touch. They are so warm and so soft. I move my lips against his, and I swear, my heart bursts.


	2. Chapter 2

Chapter 2

It wasn't until three years later when I saw him again. After he kissed me that day, he never came back.

Gale had taken off of working in the mine for a year to take care of my depressed ass. I barely even acknowledge him when he came home from working part time at a bar. We barely talked. Mostly because there was nothing to talk about anymore. Prim and Rory were our usual topic of conversation. We always tried our best to stay out of each others way. When I had nightmares I would scream and even then I wouldn't let him comfort me.

Some days I would think about Nurse Mellark. His soft but firm body holding me against his. His beautiful soft blue eyes. His big goofy smile. His oh-so soft lips. He was so perfectly beautiful, it hurt.

So it had shocked me so much to see him all the way across the room. He was with a beautiful lady, who had black hair with red streaks, at the clubs bar ordering. "Lets go get more drinks!" My friend, Mage, shouts over the loud buzzing music. We were both the new-bees to work the towns local convenient store,The Hob. "Sure." I say smiling. As we approach closer to Nurse Mellark my heart began to thump so hard against my chest. Madge orders us 'Whiskey On the Rocks' as I tried to build up the courage to go over to him. I'm about to touch his arm when, I bolt. I start to furiously walk through the crowed club to get away from him. I can't do it.

"Katniss!" I hear him call after me.

Crap.

I act like I can't hear him and exit out the doors. Out of breath, I slow down walking down the street trying to get to my car. "Katniss, please stop!" My head says no but my heart and feet betray me. "Hey! Where are you going."

I turn to face him and run straight to him. Jumping on him and kissing him. I don't even know what came over me. I just had the urge to kiss his perfect face. He stumbles toward the wall and smashes me against it. He roughly moves his lips against mine, his hands on my waist and our hips pressed together. Then he stops, pulling away from me. His light blue eyes now a dark, intense blue. His mouth opens and closes as if to say something. But I don't want him to say anything so I pull him back to me moving my lips against his again. But he pulls away realizing what he had to say. "Katniss.." His eyes close and his forehead creates a crease. "What?" I run my fingers down his sides.

"You don't even know my name."

He was right. I didn't. Maybe I was taking things to fast. No scratch that I was totally taking things and running. I didn't even know him. My cheeks feel hot. I feel so embarrassed, I shouldn't of had done that. My first instinct is to run. Thats always my first instinct when I think things are tough or in an uncomfortable situation. I think he knows I was going to run because his hands grip tighter on my waist. "Theres something about you.. And.. I can't seem to put my finger on it, but I couldn't stop think of you. Every second of the day since you left the hospital. I couldn't come back because I was afraid of being hurt by you. I've been hurt enough, Katniss. I wanted live a long life of being alone and to wonder where I went wrong with my life. Then I saw you. I want so badly to take you home with me and do things I should never do to you, but Im afraid of losing you." My heart is beating so fast and Im probably more beat red then before. He looks so frustratingly cute when he is like this. His voice changes into a deep growl. "I can't even begin to tell you how badly I want to fuck you right now. But I don't want to rush with you. I want to know everything about you. Your favorite food, Your favorite color, but right now I want you to know my name. So lets start over."

"I'm Peeta." He smiles

Peeta. I roll his name around on my tongue and it feels good.

"Katniss." I say even though I know he knows it. He smiles and the dimples on his cheek appear and make me want to kiss him again. "Want to go inside and get a drink? Im buying." His hands leave my waist and he steps back. A burst of cold air between us. Its October and the snow was going to come pouring down any day now. I nod my head and smile "I would like that." He grabs my hand as if it was most normal thing in the world. But who am I kidding I was the one who jumped on him and stuck my tongue down his throat. He led me back into the club all the way till I was face to face with the incredibly beautiful black haired read streaked girl at a table with another girl just as beautiful with golden blonde hair like madge. MADGE! I forgot about her. I look for her while reaching the table with the to girls. I spot her dancing with a handsome stranger, and shes laughing so shes having a good time. Peeta drops my hand as we reach the table "Katniss this is Johanna and Delly." Johanna looks at Peeta and smiles and then puts her hand out to shake. "Nice to finally meet you, Katniss." To finally meet me? I look at Peeta and his cheeks are red hot. Has he been talking about me? Delly gets up from her seat and rolls her eyes "I'm going to get another drink." She grabs her designer clutch from the table and struts to the bar. Her whole outfit screamed designer. Her dark red covering just below the ass dress and high heels that could poke someones eyes out. Her legs so toned and tanned. She looked perfect. "Don't mind Delly shes not a super friendly person." Johanna said leaning in close to my ear to whisper. I look towards Peeta who is watching Delly walk to the bar. He grabs my hand again and I try to let go of him but he turns his head to look at me and runs his thumb over my knuckles. "You okay?" He placed his fingers under my chin and tilted my head up so I can meet his gaze. "Yeah, I'm just over whelmed with the amount of people here." It was mostly true, but I was so ready to go home. Other part of me felt jealous. I felt like Peeta had something with Delly. He kept looking for her until she came back from the bar. Oh no! Was he dating her? But we just kissed outside, they couldn't be. "Do you want to get a drink now?" He squeezes my hand. Delly makes her way back to her spot on the high chair she was sitting on.

"Uh-Yeah." I nod my head. "I would like a drink."

"Okay, what do you want?" Oh no does this mean he doesn't want me to come to the bar with him. "A beer." A snotty laugh escapes Dellys lips. "Oh shut up Delly! Its not like you can handle that, so drink you fruity little drink and shut up." Johanna gives her a death stare and smiles. Man I like this girl. Peeta laughs alittle "Stay here I'll be back."

"I'll come with you." My head snaps towards Delly and she leaves her seat again. She wraps her arm around his waist and his arm goes around her shoulders pulling her side closer to his. "Are they-" its like Johanna read my mind. "Dating? Yes."

WHAT THE FUCK! Is what I wanted to scream but I bite the inside of my cheeks and screamed it internally. But.. We just kissed.

You kissed him.

My subconscious snaps. But he kissed me back. He even said he wanted to fuck me! Ugh! I really hate why I'm so caught up in this guy. Madge sneaks up behind me grabbing my hips. "Katniss, I'm heading out can you get a ride home?" I smile at the handsome man behind her. "Yeah! I'll get a cab home or I'll take the train."

"Are you sure?" She says taking an end of my hair and wrapping her skinny finger around the end "Yeah I'll be fine." I put a tight smile on my face because to be completely honest I hated the train and I hated taxi's. I hated the awkward hand touching on the trains pole when there aren't any seats, I hated the awkward conversation the cab man tried to start. "Okay, see you at work." She winked. I watched her leave the club.

Peeta came back with my beer as I made small talk with Johanna. He sat down on Dellys chair and Delly sat on his knee. His fingers ran up the inside of her thighs. I hated that they looked so perfect together. I watched as he kissed the back of her neck. She leaned back against him and giggled. I chugged half of the full glass of beer. I was big time jealous of her. "Wanna dance?" I heard Johanna but I wasn't until I looked up at her to see she was talking to me. I start to shake my head. I cant dance for the life of me. "Oh come on!" She grabs my hand. Dragging me out to the dance floor. At first shes dancing with me. Shes not very good at it but she look like shes having a blast, so I join her. Jumping to the music and I feel hands wrap around my waist. Theres this sweating hot guy grinding his hips on my back. I was fine with it at first dancing with him, and then his finger nails starting digging into me and it hurt "Ow.. Please get off of me." I twist around in his arms placing my hands on his chest. I try to get out of his death grip on my hips. "Stop! Get off of me." No one around is helping me. His lips crush against my lips. He bites down pulling my lower lip with his teeth and laughs. His eyes are full of hunger that I don't want to fill. "Just let go of me!"

"Come on baby come home with me." The man mumbles in my ear the smell of alcohol on his breath fills around me. "I don't to! What I want is for you to let go of me." He walks me backwards to the wall and his leans his body against mine making it even harder to push him away. His hand slides under my shirt and cups one of my breast. I start to kick now but nothing is budging this man off of me! I start screaming stop but no one is listen the clubs music is so loud. And then it happens so fast that I see it in slow motion. Peeta's fist make a crushing sound against the strangers face. I swear the breaking of his jaw could be heard over the music. Peeta's hands are on my cheeks and his eyes are searching mine.

"Did he hurt you?"

Im shaking. Trembling. The man get off the floor blood seeping out of his mouth. "Damn Mellark, don't be such a cock block."

Peeta's eyes turn black and his hands leave my face and he turns toward him. "She had asked you many times to get off of her." He growls

"Oh please do you see what she was doing! Her body was screaming for mine." He smiles "She wants me, or she wouldn't be wear those clothes."

"Cato, I swear to god, if you lay another finger on her..." Peeta's so mad. I can see his jaw clenching and unclenching. He strides over an says something to him and Cato leaves.

Peeta holds his hand out to me and I look at it and then at him. "Lets go, I'm taking you home."

"What about Delly?" ..why and I asking that? Of course I want him to take me home, but he has a girlfriend and I will do just fine on a bus or a train. "She came with Johanna."

The next thing I knew I took his hand and we were in his truck. I was still shaking from the shock of everything that just happened. Not only because of that bastard rubbing me up, but to see Peeta get so mad. Half way to my house I didn't want to be alone in my apartment. Its too lonely. Three years later and I'm still not use to the silence. Prim's loud laugh, Moms smile, and Dads humming of his favorite song of the week. I miss all of that.

"Sorry that guy did that to you back there. You don't deserve to be treated like that." He looks over at me and then back at the road.

"Why did you let me kiss you if you were dating Delly?" The words just roll out of my mouth.

"What..." And then he laughs. The loudest burst of laughter and its probably the best noise I've heard in the longest of time. "Why are you laughing?"

"Cause Delly is just a casual fuck."

Oh my god. Did he really just say that?

"Oh my god. Did I really just say that." He mumbles

"Katniss I really like you." We are pulling up to my block.

"Why?" I say jumping to say right after him.

He smiles.

"Which building is it?" At first I'm so caught up in his smile I'm staring at his lips. I cant draw my eyes away from his soft lips. "Uh over there." I point towards my building. "I need you to be more specific."

"Building 12"

He pulls into a parking spot and I finally look away from his lips. I braid my hair and take the hair tie from my wrist to tie it.

"You're beautiful."

I feel my cheeks heat up and I bite my lips to stop from smiling. "Thanks... And thank you for getting Cato off of me."

He takes off his seatbelt and leans forward towards me. I look up and our eyes meet. His eyes are sky blue right now. He tucks a piece of hair thats fallen out of my braid behind me ear and his hand cups my cheek.

"Can I kiss you?" He leans forward more.

Words try running to my lips but they keep stumbling over each other and never reach them, so I just nod my head. His lips kiss my forehead, my nose, my cheeks, and then his hot lips are on mine. It starts with a soft slow kiss, but then his tongue licks its way into my mouth. A moan escapes his mouth when our tongues touch. He pulls away and places chaste kisses on my neck. The next thing I know he's lifted me on his lap, and we are making out. His hand run up and down my side, finally making there way up my shirt. I lift my arms up so can he take it off. Thank god I decided to put on my black laced bra on before going to the club. His lips are on mine again. But I'm focused on his hands moving the cup holding my breast out of the way. His hand replaces the cup and he rubs it in a small circle. He pulls his lips away and replaces his hand on my breast with his mouth. I moan and realize I'm bucking my hips against his. His fingers fumble with unbuttoning my pants. His hand slides in my panties rub small circle on my throbbing core. "Oh god!" I moan out, I can't even deal. His tongue is flicking at my nipple and his hand rapidly taking me up to the sky. Then I'm there, my orgasm crashing through me like a wave. I lay back as he continues to rub small circles and my back hits the car horn and it blares through the whole neighbor hood, bringing me back down to earth.

He pulls me forward off the horn and some of the people are yelling "Shut up!" And "I'm trying to sleep!". We both laugh, and then he kisses me on the forehead.

"Wanna come up stairs?" I say resting my forehead against his. A smile stretches across his face. "Of course."


End file.
